Independent Research Findings
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Siblings Without Rivalry workshops have been used successfully by tens of thousands of parent and teacher groups for over three decades. If you are applying for grants that require evidence of the programs’ effectiveness, the following studies can be cited:
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This study examined the effectiveness of a parenting program in fostering optimal parenting and child mental health. The selected program was How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Workshop. This program was selected because its content corresponds closely to what the parenting style literature suggests is optimal parenting (including structure, a sense of connection, and support of the child’s autonomy.) Eleven group workshops of six to twelve parents each were conducted in seven local grade schools. The program, offered by two trained leaders, consisted of eight weekly sessions and presented a total of 30 skills. A total of 82 parents completed questionnaires both prior to and after the program. Participants’ children between eight and 12 years old completed questionnaires at school, at both assessment points.
Parents reported that levels of oppositional behavior and aggression in their children decreased significantly, as did anxiety and depression. Importantly, reports from the children confirmed that their sense of well-being improved as well. The preliminary evidence from this study suggests that the How-to-talk Parenting Program is effective in improving parenting style and in promoting children’s mental health.
https://www.camheleon.org/the-importance-of-affiliation-structure-and-autonomy-support/
Montreal 2018 study
In this study, two groups of parents were formed: one group who participated in the How-to-Talk workshop right away and one group who had to wait a year to do so (the waitlist comparison group). The two groups were compared at different moments in time, on different outcomes.
Our results indicate that improvements in mental health for the children whose parents attended the workshop were significantly larger than for the wait-listed group.
In addition, observed improvements following the workshop were long lasting and were still observed a year after parents participated in the workshop.
Results are particularly strong and noteworthy given that they were obtained using an intent-to-treat approach, where all parents were welcomed to participate in the study (most other research exclude parents with mental health problems and only include children who exhibit moderate difficulties) and data from all parents were used, no matter how many sessions they attended.
https://bmcpediatr.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12887-018-1227-3
Colorado and North Dakota
In a study of five different family education programs, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen had the highest percentage (88{94cc8f0f867d8b98c373cf3aee06a93dd862e80588779d21151d7be573e98169}) of respondents reporting one to three positive behavioral changes two to five months after the last session.
Although all of the programs tested resulted in positive behavioral changes, the only program that provided higher-level positive family functioning improvements was the How To Talk So Kids Will Listen program. Self-esteem, family coping and quality of life levels all rose, while stress and depression levels fell. When participants were asked, “Do you want your tax dollars to continue to support this type of effort?”, 97{94cc8f0f867d8b98c373cf3aee06a93dd862e80588779d21151d7be573e98169} of respondents said yes to supporting How To Talk So Kids Will Listen.
The research, by Robert J. Fetsch and Deb Gebeke, was reported in an article, “Colorado and North Dakota Strengthening Marriage and Family Programs Increase Positive Family Functioning Levels” and was published in the Journal of Extension, Vol. 33, No. 1, Feb. 1995.
University of Washington
The following is an excerpt from an article written in 1996 for the Faber/Mazlish Forum, Issue No.2, by Dr. John Gottman, Executive Director of the Family Relationship Institute of the University of Washington:
At the University of Washington we have recently found scientific evidence that supports the work that Dr. Haim Ginott and Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have been doing with families. We have been conducting studies with young families who have a preschool child, studying them as the child develops. We wanted to chart the emotional life of these families to see what, if anything, parents do to raise emotionally healthy children.
Two Types of Families
Here’s what we discovered. We found there are essentially two types of families. One type we call “emotion dismissing.” These parents minimize the role of sadness, fear, and anger in their own personal lives and therefore view these emotions as toxic in their children. They will do anything they can to change their children’s negative feelings quickly. They’ll make light of the feelings, urge the children not to “dwell” upon them, attempt to distract the unhappy youngster, even try to tickle him into a better mood.
The other type of family we call “emotion coaching.” These parents respond to their children’s emotions very much like what Faber & Mazlish recommend in their books. Instead of viewing their child’s emotions as toxic, they listen to their children when they are sad or angry or afraid; they help them to verbally label their feelings; they accept those feelings and, when appropriate, follow up by problem solving with them. While the parents accept all feelings, they also make it clear that certain behaviors are unacceptable.
Better Lives
Our research has revealed that children who have emotion coaching parents are entirely different from children who have emotion dismissing parents. The children of emotion coaching parents are:
Better able to regulate their own emotions
Not easily disorganized by their negative feelings
Better able to focus their attention
Have fewer negative interactions with their friends and other children in school
Whine less
Are seen more positively by their teachers
Do not develop behavior problems
Are more resistant to infectious illnesses
Have higher reading and math scores in school, even controlling for their initial intelligence.
This means that if two children have the same IQ, the one with emotion coaching parents will achieve more than the one with dismissing parents.
Wisconsin
In 1990 the Wisconsin Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse joined forces with the North District Family Living Agents of the University of Wisconsin Cooperative Extension to embark on a three-year commitment to parent education. After careful consideration they chose How to Talk So Kids Will Listen as their training program.
Some of the reasons stated for this selection were:
The facilitator does not need formal mental health training;
The kit is flexible and adaptable to many settings and formats;
Although it is designed for groups of six to twelve, it works successfully with both smaller and larger groups;
It is effective with different learning styles and reading abilities. Those who can’t read can learn by listening;
It’s funny, entertaining and touching. Not preachy or clinical.
Thus far, Family Living Agents, with the help of a federal grant, have used the How To Talk So Kids Will Listen program to train more than 100 volunteers to facilitate parent support groups in thirteen counties. More than 6900 parents have been reached to date.
The program has received consistently high evaluations by participating parents, group leaders, and home economists both in Wisconsin and nationally.